|
Being a Sunday, I managed to get out of work at 1:30. Which is better than 3, but across the street I used to get out at 12 tops. Gah. I have all sorts of zits from being all stressed out and sweaty. It's gross. By all sorts I mean like 5 but that's alot when you hardly get them. My feet hurt from breaking in my new shoesies. I look stoned because my eyelids are all droppy from being tired. Luckily, I have tomorrow off. Yay! Well, I have to go to school but then I don't have to go to work until 4:30 Tuesday afternoon. WooT! SteveO and I are going over to Justins house after school for a BBQ. For those who don't know, Justin is a hella cool projectionist at work who understands the godliness of Maynard James Keenan. It was his last day at this theatre, which sucks hardcore. All the bad ass people I get along with are leaving. It sucks. And I have like a bazillion paper cuts from all the money. God. Bitch bitch bitch. I've never had so many bitch posts in my life! I need a day off where it kicks ass and I can have a "My day kicked so much ass!" post. But whenever I have a day off from school, I have to go to work and whenever I have a day off from work, I have to go to school. And I can't ditch anymore classes or I get withdrawn. Bah!
Anyway, enough with the bitching, time for sleep. Goodnight everyone!Undead Feelings of:  Sleepy-Tired A Bunny-Sized Earful of: Assemblage 23 - Opened |
|
So I was at work until 2:30 again last night. This is really getting quite frustrating. I just woke up and I feel like my whole day has been flushed because I go to work again today at 5. SteveO told me we need to go out and do something crazy because I'm starting to seem like one of those 40 year old career women whose lives revolve around work but not work they love. He said I need to like eat a bag of mushrooms and go bungee jumping or something. I feel like I do, too. I need to request a Saturday off or maybe like a Tuesday or Thursday when I don't have class and ask SteveO to buy him and I some E and the just go to the Adventuredome and stay there all day. That sounds like so much fun. I've been with this theatre for a year, I think I am entitled to a freaking vacation. I wish I could go to Puerto Rico with SteveO in July but he's going right when the new quarter of classes start. Bah. Oh well. I know in at least 6 months, they will have to give me a week off for my 21st birthday/Halloween and Ren Faire weekend off or I'll just give them the finger and go on my merry way. Grrrrr.. I need foodies.Undead Feelings of:  hungry |
|
I'm a pissed off little Rosey. So, I printed out my schedule THURSDAY night, when the schedules are SUPPOSED to be final and it says I work 1:30 till 9:30 today. I'm all happy cos that's obviously a mid-money shift. Yay! I love being a mid-money cos I never have to deal with the safe. But when I get to work today, I go to sign in and it says I don't work till 5. .......... How fucking hard is it for Brooke or someone to use a phone and call me to let me know I don't work at 1:30 anymore? Seriously! It's not that fucking hard. So now they killed my whole day and when I get to work I'm going to have to check my schedule again to see if anything else has changed. This is bullshit. If they start doing this shit on a regular basis, they're gonna lose another faithful employee. I used to love working at the theater. Even when it was busy cos across the street it was tame. It was mellow. Now it's pure insanity. And I know everyone else feels the same way I do. Ben obviously does since he's quitting. Gah. I'm not looking forward to closing at all. I'll probably be there till 3 again and then I'll probably have to open in the morning. Get like 4 hours of sleep and have to deal with the madness all day tomorrow. Fuck this. I'm starting to freak out. I'm visibly losing weight. I have stress pimples. My feet and back are killing me. Thank god SteveO gave me a loratab today. And see, that pisses me off too because I could've spent a little extra time with him this morning but no. They couldn't have the decency to call me and let me know they changed my times. Fuckers.Undead Feelings of:  pissed off A Bunny-Sized Earful of: Reverend Horton Heat - The CD SteveO left in my car |
|
Fuck it. Gah.
I hate it.
I hate fucking Star Wars.
I hate how it's busy and I hate how stressed out and annoyed it's making everyone.
I hate having nervous breakdowns in front of my bosses.
I hate hating school.
I hate not getting any sleep.
I hate 3D.
I hate that I'm not done being sick yet.
I hate stupid people.
I hate that I don't know what I'm doing at work anymore.
I hate not knowing why people don't call me when they say they will.
I hate the fact that I really want to go to sleep right now but my body won't let me.
I hate that my back and feet hurt.
I hate that I know lots of people are feeling the same way right now and we are all feeding off of the negativity and not being our cheerful selves.
It's all bullshit. I should've done Graphic Design or Multimedia. Fuck this 3D animation shit. My parents really want me to be happy with my schooling but they don't know what I can do. My mom suggested I change fields but it's too late now. She told me to just pass and pull through. But my grades will be shitty in my 3D classes. I just don't get it and I don't WANT to get it. Nyquil's starting to kick in now so my rant is done. God, I need a day off so I can take SteveO to the Adventuredome for a day of fun or have a BBQ at Justin's. Goodnight everyone.Undead Feelings of: bitchy A Bunny-Sized Earful of: VAST - Crimson |
|
The last 2 ties I have tried to update that POS, it's given me an error and I lose all hat I typed. Now it's down for maintenance. So fuck you MySpace blog!
Soo, I haven't updated in a while. But I have been working my ass off and then school and SteveO and sleep. I'm half asleep right now. At least I was able to get a few good hours of pot-sleep in. 1 pot-sleep hour has to count for at least 2 regular. But it's worn off now and I'm tired again. Oh well.. Four hours to go and then it's over to SteveO's house where I might be able to take a nap if he's down to take one with me.
So, updates on Rosey's existence:
1. I fucking HATE the new theatre. it sucks. It's too big and everyone has been all stressed out and bitchy so it's like no fun to work there. Well, except for last night cos Brit and I worked the satelite concession stand together and she's, well, Brit. She's silly and she makes me laugh.
2. I'm completely burned out when it comes to school. I hate 3D and that's all I freakin' have. It's bullshit. I HATE HATE HATE HATE 3D!!!
3. The one thing keeping me sane: SteveO. I love the shit out of that man. Everything is like a bazillion times better than before. I can totally tell he's completely into ME this time around, now that he's worked out some of those issues which affected us the last time. He stares at me and all I feel is love. It's sweet. He's sweet. I love him! Tee hee!
Anywho, I have to like work in class and stuff now. Bah. Peace out!Undead Feelings of: sleepy A Bunny-Sized Earful of: Downward Spiral - NIN |
| » All is (mostly) right in the universe. |
|---|
Yeah. *~..giggles..~* Now, maybe I can get some fucking homework done. And I stress maybe.
Apr. 22nd, 2005 @ 09:24 am
|
| » By the Beard of Zeus! |
|---|
*~..bangs head against the wall repeatedly..~*
Someone come online, anyone! I'm all alone and bored, so bored, and lately when I have extra time like this, all I do is set around and think and think and think...
I have homework to do but I just don't feel like it. It's 3D. Blech.
Gah, it's just so frustrating. I told SteveO the last time I talked to him, to give me some room for a week or so. And appearantly he's listening. NO! I need to talk and I need to talk now. There are things I need to say. More things. Always things to say. I drove by his apartment area yesterday and today after to school but he wasn't home. I called his mom and she said she'd leave him a note. She'd seen him on Sunday appearantly, right before he went to work. She sounded happy to hear from me. I guess it would've helped if I would've asked him what apartment is his. I have a general idea but I don't feel like wandering, knocking on random doors, I would look like such a weirdo with a lost puppy or something. Haven't men realized that when we say "don't call me for a while" that loosely translates into "you better fucking call me tomorrow". It's just my brain hurts, my heart hurts, he needs to fucking get ahold of me now before I fucking explode from thinking so damn much. I wish I had some of that shit in Romeo and Juliet that makes you sleep for like a day. That would be nice right about now. I just hate being a girl with my heart always dangling off my sleeve going like "Hey! Punch Me!" Because then I always end up hurting someone else when I'm hurting. (I"m so sorry Zach) When will I fucking learn? I need to heal first. It's not worth hurting the other person. But I just want to make other people happy. Shit. I'm all rambly. I need to lie down.
Apr. 20th, 2005 @ 01:43 pm
|
| » OLD SCHOOL! |
|---|
That's what that line is from!!! When Luke Wilson is in the restaraunt with that girl and then that 16 year old chick comes up and says soemthign to him and then the girl gets up and walks out and then the Italian waiter guy says "Love, it's a motherfucker, eh?" WOOT! I'm a loser. Sorry. (and Thanks P! for the help!) This was seriously driving me bonkers.
Apr. 20th, 2005 @ 09:30 am
|
| » .....Man I am a fuck head.... |
|---|
...despite what Zach says. I feel horrible. But my heart is a complete wreck right now and I am no good to him in this condition, no good to anybody. There are so many things I still need to work out with myself. So many unhealed wounds. I have made myself physically ill from crying so damn much. I hurt so bad. I need answers and that's what I am trying to get.
Zach says he understands, he wants to be my friend, and he'll be okay when I am okay. I hope he can be okay sooner than that. My heart is a complete mess right now. Love, my friends, love is a mother-fucker, eh? (what movie is that from?) I am so happy to have him in my life. But I feel so bad for what I have done. I was so sure I wouldn't do this, but what I neglected to tell myself was that I know that I am nowhere near healed. Or not even healed, I'm nowhere near knowing what's what and I need to know everything. What sucks most is that in some situations, all you have to rely on is your own intuitions. You hear one thing from someone, something completely different from someone else and you have to ask yourself who you are going to trust. Trust. I don't even sometimes trust myself anymore. I feel like such an asshole right now. I'm so completely fucked in the head.
I just want to know what's what. I just need to know things. And if these things can't be found out short of a polygraph, then I guess I just have to trust myself enough to decide what I believe.
Please, no one hate me for what I have done. Or you can, I most likely deserve it.
Apr. 18th, 2005 @ 12:32 pm
|
| » Thanks Theresa! |
|---|
Current favorite band :: My Chemical Romance.. HUSH!
Current book :: This gigantor book on Ghosts that I've finished like 1/1,000,000th of!
Current cd in stereo :: My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge
Read the newspaper? :: Hell naw
Have any gay or lesbian friends? :: Both
Consider yourself tolerant of others? :: Yeah, I'm uber-tolerant
Like the taste of alcohol? :: Not hard alchohol, beer I like though
Have a favorite candy? :: mmm.. Take 5's are delicioso.
Believe in astrology? :: Fuck yeah I do.
Believe in magic? :: Not really, but the idea is fucking cool.
Have any piercings? :: 1 lip and 1 nipple (damn you Precious Sluts II! you made me have to take out my other one and be all disfigured!)
Ever been in love? :: Like no one's business.
In love now:: Yeah
Do you believe in love at first sight? :: Yeah, but true love isn't formed until actually you've actually talked to someone, I thinkg
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing? :: Actually, no I haven't
=EITHER/ OR=
club or houseparty :: Houseparty
drinks or shots :: Drinks
cats or dogs :: BUNNIES!
single or taken :: Taken
pen or pencil :: Pencil, I'm a fucking artist!
gloves or mittens :: Neither, too constricting
Are you a tease? :: Ha, No.
Shy to make the first move? :: Not usually
what do u think when u hear this words:
Rubber :: Condom?
Punk :: Sucks
Green :: Purple
Peanut :: Butter Crunch
Wet :: gah.. I guess I have to actually type the first thing I really thought of huh? FINE. ....pussy.
Hay :: Hey, we're the monkeys!
Cold :: Stone
Steamy :: Soup
freaky:: Me. :D
Rain :: Beautiful
Bite :: Bleed
Blow :: Johnny Depp (not in THAT way, cos he was in the movie Blow.. Perverts.)
Apr. 18th, 2005 @ 12:54 am
|
| » I feel like Hell.. |
|---|
I don't know if it's just PMS over whatever, but I've been feeling really depressed over the last couple of days, though I am trying to maintain the illusion of being my normal Rosey self. All I have wanted to do is sleep. That's all I've been doing. I went to bed at 9 last night. NINE! I don't go to bed at 9 ever, not even when I have to wake up early the next day. I think I'm worried about something. Troubled. Very troubled.
I feel bad because I could've hung out with Zach all last night after we got out of class but I just didn't feel like it. What's the fucking point? He's tired and wants to go to sleep, I was tired but knew I couldn't fall asleep. So, yay, Rosey lays there bored out of her mind for hours? I don't fucking think so. I get off at midnight tonight and may go hang out with him then. If I feel like it. And the only reason I don't feel like it is because sometimes it seems like he doesn't feel like it. Like, yesterday when I dropped him off at his house, he didn't say I love you. So I pouted and when I told him what was wrong he was all "Well, I don't want to be the only one saying it, I feel stupid". ........ I say it all the time. Just because he's primarily the one who says it when we hang up or when I leave doesn't mean I never say it. I say it all the time it's just at random times. Like when he does something really sweet or funny or is just EXISTING then I fucking say it. God dammit, now I'm getting pissed off. Fucking PMS. Fucking relationships. Fucking life. Mine is awesome. I have awesome parents who do anything for me. I'll admit. I'm a spoiled fucking brat. There. I said it. And all I want out of life is love, love, and more love. That's the only thing. As long as I can make enough money to scrape through life comfortably, then I am happy. As long as I can exist. I just need love. It's like crack to me. And I just set here and I think about how different people always act after a little while. It never fucking fails. I always stay the same. ALWAYS. But people always change. It's not fair. So the newness has worn off, has it? Well, that fucking blows. How is it I can still set there and stare at you then? Because it's still new to me. It will always be. But I can't stomach the thought that you can't do that to me anymore. It makes me hurt. Maybe I ask too much and if I do I'm sorry. It's probably just PMS making me overreact over little things that don't matter. I just don't understand how in the beginning someone can set there and smile and stare and kiss and everything and then after a little while does it just not matter anymore? Maybe it's too important to me. Maybe I'm too much of a hopeless romantic for my own good. Maybe I'm destined to always fuck everything up. Maybe I should just shut up and go lay down for a little while before I have to go to work. Yeah, that's what I'll do.
Sorry for the rant. It's just how I feel is all.
Apr. 9th, 2005 @ 03:13 pm
|
| » As I promised... |
|---|
Yay!! I'm so happy my Zach is back!!!! *~..big, huge, freakin' smile..~*
We saw Sin City today before I went to work. It kicked so much fucking ass! Marv is the shit!!! WOOT!!
Yeah, I know I get weird sometimes about Zach not being as huggy and kissy as I am, but he didn't let go of my hand for that entire movie (except to crack his knuckles every now and again), and it was a long ass movie! Aww.. I love him. And damn his cute ways. I think he has talked me into playing D&D with him and his friends on Tuesday, supposing I don't work. *~..sighs..~* But Zach and I have never been drunk together so I'll go just for that factor alone. Plus, he and his friends are funny as hell. It'll be good for a laugh. I won't know what the hell I'm doing!
Anywho, I think I'm going to play the Sims for a bit and then head off for some well needed rest. Goodnight!!
Apr. 7th, 2005 @ 12:26 am
|
| » BAH!! |
|---|
Scratch that. I have 3 3D courses. Please, kill me now!
Apr. 4th, 2005 @ 01:04 pm
|
| » *~..gasp..~* An LJ Update!! |
|---|
Sooo.. Yeah.. Not much going on. Work, sleep, work, sleep. The new quarter starts tomorrow which I am not particularly excited about. I know I'll have fun in my Advanced Digital Imaging class because Photoshop is cool, but i have two 3D Max classes which are going to suck completely. Especially if I get Lee. I want Chandler or Matt. I might actually learn something from them.
Today at work Brittany was all excited cos she went to see Thunder from Down Under with Mallory and one of the guys asked for her phone number. He called her today at work and said he could get her and her friends in for free if she wanted to go again. She asked me if I wanted to go. I stared blankly at her for a second before saying no. Blech. Not my scene. Watching alomst naked guys bump and grind. No thank you. Those guys are not attractive to me. They're too perfect with their muscles and what not. Imperfections are what make people beautiful. I'd rather see the guys from Full Monty. That might actually be entertaining. But I really really don't want a lap dance from some gay Australian dude. No thank you. But Brittany's freaking excited. To each their own, I guess.
Zach should be home around 10 PM tomorrow which, to no one's surprise, I am completely stoked about. I am going to get all gussied up and attack him the second I see him. I have missed him soooo much. But I haven't cried, not once. Those who no me know how over-emotional I can be sometimes, so it must seem weird that I could love and miss someone so much but not shed a tear. But it's a really good thing that I haven't. The only reason I have cried over boyfriend's being gone in the past is because I haven't trusted them. I really do trust Zach, hence my lack of tears. After what I have gone through with guys, you'd think I'd be skeptical of his honesty, but I'm not. Which is why I snagged him so soon after the break-up with asshole. I'll be damned if I let anyone else have him! I saw something in him the first day I ever talked to him ( or just saw him for that matter)that I knew I wanted to hang onto for a long time. It was something I had never come across in previous guys. Hmm.. What was it? Oh yeah. He's a REAL person. Just like me. God, I love him.
Anywho, I should probably go to sleep now, but I know I won't. I'll prolly end up watching adult swim and dragging myself to bed around 3. I can survive on 7 hours of sleep, it's not like I'll be paying much attention in 3D Max tomorrow, especially since I haven't had a 3D Max class in ages. it'll be like relearning the whole program again, which I am not looking forward to at all. I can't wait till I graduate. Then I can geta job as a graphic designer or something. I don't care just as long as I don't have to fcuk with 3D ever again. YAY!
Okay, so goodnight and what not. Expect an "I'm soooo happy my Zach is back!" post in the near future.
Apr. 4th, 2005 @ 01:46 am
|
| » YOU!!! |
|---|
Go look at my DeviantArt page NOW!
That is all.
http://zombiebunny13.deviantart.com/
Mar. 28th, 2005 @ 11:01 pm
|
| » :( |
|---|
I MISS MY ZACH SOOOO MUCH!
That is all. Time for work.
Mar. 28th, 2005 @ 09:30 am
|
| » Countdown |
|---|
Thirteen random things you like:
1) Bunnies
2) Chocolate
3) Chocolate bunnies
4) Halloween
5) The rain
6) Laughing
7) Zach's friends
8) Horror movies
9) Cartoons
10) Photogenic once-in-awhiles
11) Being happy
12) Seeing other people happy
13) Making other people happy
Twelve good movies:
1) Session 9
2) The Eye
3) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (circa 1970's)
4) The Phantom of the Opera (circa 2004)
5) The Crow
6) Who Framed Roger Rabbit
7) The Neverending Story
8) Labyrinth
9) Beauty and the Beast
10) Hellraiser 2
11) 28 Days Later
12) Shaun of the Dead
Eleven good bands/artists:
1) Nightwish
2) The Misfits
3) TOOL
4) Cancerslug
5) VAST
6) Jack Off Jill
7) Mister Monster
8) Fiona Apple
9) Rammstein
10) Pete Yorn
11) Franz Ferdinand
Ten things about you ... physically:
1) Short brown hair and bangs
2) Hazel eyes that are my favorite feature
3) Lips sort of like a doll
4) I have an underbite
5) I'm chubby
6) I have really muscly legs
7) I gots my lip and boobies pierced
8) I have the same eyebrows I was born with
9) My nails are always short
10) My nails are a different color practically everyday
Seven favorite drinks:
1) Mr. Pibb
2) Iced tea
3) Pineapple juice
4) Chocolate milk
5) Cherry 7-UP
6) Cream soda
7) Josta (do you guys remember that?)
Six Things that annoy you:
1) When people leave their blinker on
2) The sound a scratched cd makes
3) When your console shits out on you in the middle of a game you haven't saved in a while
4) 3d fucking animation programs. Gah.
5) Teachers that suck at teaching
6) Not being sure of myself
Five things you touch everyday:
1) My car
2) My phone
3) A pencil or pen
4) I wish I could touch Zach everyday.
5) Myself. Yeah. Come on, you all knew I was going there.
Four shows you watch:
1) Family Guy
2) Teen Titans
3) Law and Order SVU
4) CSI (Vegas)
Three things you look for in a girl/guy:
1) Someone who makes me laugh (constantly)
2) Someone who won't get pissed at me when I get cranky
3) Someone who can love me for who I am, not what they want me to be
Two things you hate:
1) The fucking morning
2) Uncertainty
One thing/person you love:
1) Zach, of course.
Mar. 15th, 2005 @ 10:34 pm
|
| » <3 |
|---|
It's official. I am completely in love. Which fucking rocks, mind you.
Feb. 22nd, 2005 @ 01:54 am
|
| » BAH! |
|---|
Yeah, I always seem to update on MySpace. Hmm.. Yeah, so if you know me and my MySpace, you can go there and read if you care. This is more of my bitch page. My right nipple is bleeding. Too much info you say? Suck it up, pussy. You're not the one with the bleeding nipple.
Feb. 19th, 2005 @ 01:02 am
|
| » I Wished for this Nightime to Last for a Lifetime.. |
|---|
Well, MySpace was down for maintenance, so I guess it's time to update here.
Let me start by saying: I am a fucking lucky chick.
I have managed to snag myself a great catch of a guy. Yes, yes.. I am attached. He suits me so perfectly. But this time, with Zach, I don't feel that it is a charade at all. He's not one of those guys that puts up a front that slowly dissolves away. He is the same Zach in my photography class that I developed a crush on. He is an amazing being. (I'm using "being" because once again I do not for one second believe he is a human)
He told me today that when we had photography together he told himself "I could see myself being with a girl like that." Funny how things find a way of working out, isn't it? The universe stuns me sometimes. From heartbreak (well, kind of) one second to complete adoration the next. He touches me and I feel beautiful. I am seriously making most of you want to barf right now, I know, but fuck you! One day, you'll be posting blogs like this one. (assuming you haven't already done so)
I hated leaving tonight. I hate leaving everytime I see him. I can't look into his eyes and I can't hold him. He can't hold my hand. I feel a void. it's odd that I should be feeling this way so soon after what happened, but for some reason when it all happened, I told myself I would wait until something good came along. That I wouldn't rush into anything I didn't feel was worth my time. Lo and behold he was right there all the time. And I couldn't risk letting something that makes me feel this way slip away. I get butterflies just thinking about him.
Okay, I'm going to bed now. You guys can all procede to the nearest porcelain god to make your donation. Good night!
Feb. 9th, 2005 @ 02:16 am
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
zombiebunny13's journal